My Roommate Stole My Car

My roommate stole my car…. and I don’t mean borrowed without my permission. I mean Taken – Good Luck – daddy come save me stolen.

So quick background. I GOT A NEW CAR! The car is mad dope. It’s a Maxima and she got all the bells and whistles it can get which meant my old Nissan was gonna chill till I decided what to do with her. Also I rent a home along with this super adorbs old lady. She’s like 72 and Uber driving and just cute. It was an ideal living situation but it’s only been literally 30 days and then this happened…

I come home from a day trip to the beach and wake to the question “So what are you gonna do with your old car?” Now, I literally bought my new car, parked it and went on day-cation so I hadn’t thought about the new one much less the old at this point so my response is basic. “I don’t know. Maybe give it away.”

My adorbs roommate is all well my brother wants to buy it. I express that it’s a cool idea, thanks but again… it’s been less than 45 minutes of me even being out of it so I’m not ready to think forward.

That’s Sunday guys.. today’s Saturday. I literally have had my new car 6 days today.

Anywho Monday she’s like you should clean your car out. I’m like yea one day I’ll get to it. She gives me info on where I can get it detailed which is sweet. Maybe I’ll consider it.

Tuesday she’s all can I take it for my brother to check out and I’m all he doesnt want it I assure you. It’s old, there’s a lot of miles, the check engine light is on, the transmission surely going out. I’m making all these excuses cause guys… I don’t have time for this.

Wednesday she texts, my brother is here, Can he look at your car? Yea, sure, Its sitting outside. I’m busy.

I blame this now on myself… I can see that she was prepping me for the fact that she was selling my car and I didn’t see it.

Thursday I get home w the extreme need to pee. I speed into the driveway, jump from the car making a mad dash through the front door and into the potty and once relieved something hit me…. I didn’t see my car from the corner of my eye..

New Car (check) Grass (check) curb (check) old car.. I must’ve been tripping.

I open the bathroom door, after washing my hands of course, and my roommate is standing there. Before I could open my mouth she immediately speaks “I sold your car how much money do you want for it?”

I felt as if my head was stuck in a weird fog. Had she just said what she said to me? How do you sell a car that doesn’t belong to you? I lived in that car where is all my life that was inside it? How does this happen? Am I being PUNK’D? When does this get funny?

She approached me w a stack of 100 dollar bills and pulled off 5. How about $500? I immediately clutched my pearls and said…

“I have to go to dance class.” and left. It was true I did have dance class.

I had no idea what to do in this situation. You cant throat punch old ladies. But what else do you do in that situation but swiftly disengage the offender with a sudden chop to the trachea?!

I decided a phone call would suffice. I called her and let her know that my only wish was to see my car outside of the home in which we shared. Two days later. The car reappeared. Never an apology. Never a valid reason, just a few scoffing remarks about not needing two cars.

Needless to say I moved out a few weeks later ONLY after I sold the car to the neighbor next door. Why did I decide to sell the car to the neighbor.. so she could see it!




2 Replies to “My Roommate Stole My Car”

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