Loneliness during the Holidays

I live in a house that is obsessed with Christmas. The evening of Thanksgiving a tree gets fully decorated that stays plugged in whether day or night.  Santa, in his reindeer drawn sleigh, skips across the front yard through a maze of candy canes as stars light up the outline of the home so bright that it causes the actual lights inside to grow dim.  Glance past all the holiday splendor and you can often here me singing

Tis the season, to be jolly – but how can I be when I HAAAAVVE NOOOBOODY!

These are the opening lyrics to the Emotions – “What do the lonely do at Christmas.” By far my go to Christmas song. Though I have a life filled with friends, great adventure and some pretty notable community organizations, holidays can be a tough time. This is a time when most people gather with those families they were born into and if yours is inaccessible for whatever reason this season can cause you to be a little blue.  While I wholeheartedly suggest that you reach out to your network to clearly express your needs and follow through with their invites to enjoy this time with others I understand wanting to forge through it alone.  I have pretty much mastered this so I share with you..


  1. AVOID SOCIAL MEDIA. This is an important one especially if you are new to this. Social media will be filled with family pictures, babies crying on Santa, proposals and all kinds of annoying cheer that does nothing but remind you that you and your selfies ain’t it! If you are addicted to your network don’t fret, this step is temporary.  It only exists until your happiness with your lonely holiday is assured.
  2. TREAT YO SELF!! – Everything is on sale this season. Get what you want and get it for a price that soothes the soul. My new seventy five dollar air fryer cost me $29.99! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME! Im waiting for that Michael Kors rose gold smart watch to reduce in price. Gifting yourself is goooood!
  3. MAKE A PLAN. Schedule time at your favorite spa, they’re open and literally no one is there! Pick your favorite Chinese restaurant because its always available. Stock up on your snacks and beef up your wish list on Audible or Netflix. This is a season where you can and should purposely fill your time with things that bring YOU joy. So I’ve seen every episode of Adventure Time. I WATCH WHAT I WANT! And there’s no-one around to complain about you reciting all the words to your favorite lines.
  4. GIVE THANKS!  and mean it. Take a moment to think back on all the things that are great and revel in it. Literally name them one.. by… one… I recently got a pair of yoga pants that fit and feel like Egyptian cotton. (shudders in elation)

It’s all about the little things and by the time you get done counting them, the holidays are done and everyone is anxiously waiting to connect back with the family they chose..


Happy Holidays!




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