I’ve Opened Myself To Serial Killers… a series (ep. 13)

It’s been a while since the last dating update and I am glad to say that it’s not for lack of events. As a surprise to me the consistency of swipes were from actual men who were… consistent. Now this wasn’t always great but it was certainly worthy of my time and made a good story. 

I swear my life is like a movie and this last batch had so many amazing co-stars.

Except for Mr. Irving (who still has no relation at all to Irving) who pops up every so often to throw his non-committal hat into the ring. I’m going to block him today.  And as for Mr. Family Guy he took me off all his social media after the release of the last blog. (Kanye shrug)  

I believe the only other one who made it from the previous blog was the ‘Truck Driver.’ Yall he is so sweet and absolutely crazy. He has kept in communication and is one of the most encouraging and reassuring men I have ever met. The crazy part is that he has no need to be. At some point he decided to continue a conversation that we have never had and continues to tell me how much I do not have to worry as he is for me…. At least I think that’s what he is saying.  He asked if I would come with him on his truck adventures and I told him that pending me actually knowing who he was and finding it safe that I’d love to be a truck driver for a weekend.  His response:

“Shid we don’t even have to know each other and do that for me only and I will forgive u so don’t be lying cuz this s@#$% forever so anything u think I need to wait for or will keep a secret u do and I know only nobody else so tell me on all them secret u head with them and show me all yo deepest secrets and u will be with me on my side forever never let game turn me against me cause u can call me right now text me and I know he aint gone do that even if it takes time for him to get back to me he gone be there for me in some type of way till it be the way I need it and shid I don’t need u I can wait forever shid till he do everything on time and I’ma do the same for him”

Did you get a headache from reading that? I did. Please note that the only editing I did to that message was block the one time he spelled S@#$ correctly. So far he has successfully let me know that he is a member of the Illuminati and has his name inscribed on a copy of ‘The Nouveau Tech Package of Inside Secrets. That he is not a dead person. That he is a great person on God side. And that he is my best friend, husband, the dream guy in my life and my biggest concern…

He had no idea who Marshawn Lynch was. 

I can entertain a lot of foolishness but that is just disrespectful!

Then we have the one whom I shall lovingly refer to as Mr. Bahamas. Mr. Bahamas and I went to Cancun. He is an avid reader of my blog. After publishing the last one he read it out loud to me and amazed me in the way in which he ‘got’ my written style. His Bahamian accent paused dramatically and punctuated every word that required it assuring me that you guys actually hear through these written words! I told you that he got to choose whether or not that was a date and upon reading the blog his immediate response was NO! Day one in Cancun was a flop. Mr. Bahamas traveled as a tourist and I spent the entire day wondering how… how did my life come to this as I imagined myself wearing a camera around my neck with a blotch of sunblock covering my nose. I did not expect this from Mr. #IFlyDelta. Thankfully we talked through it and day two was amazing! We ventured on the unbeaten path. Snuck into some resorts to get to the nicer beaches, took pictures worthy of posting, made friends with locals and even got his hair cut at a local barber shop. Turned corners just to see where it may lead and even rode the ‘city bus’ aka someone’s personal van that goes in the direction we were going, dropped a few pesos and hopped in and out. It was my kind of day and after realizing my happiness he decided that yes… YES! this was in fact a date and should be mentioned here!

Mr. Bahamas gave me one heck of a first date and I extended the chance for him to do it again if he would like. We both have flight benefits and if anything we could travel and explore together. I don’t know if romance is in the books for us. Distance, finances and family values separate us but I have seen love withstand through greater so who knows!

There is also Germany. Germany is a Nigerian that was born and raised there. English is his first language and he moved to Dallas for work. He is an engineer and before we could meet had to go back to Germany to complete a project for his company. He is very sweet and I promised that I would answer his WhatsAPP occasionally which I do. He is invested in my feelings and what I am up to. It feels real 90 day fiancé to me and though I love the show my intentions are to leave the US one day so..

Last but certainly not least is the one we shall call All American and after this point AA. AA has me at a loss for words. Our initial meetup was supposed to be a quick stop for tea. I sat down and was immediately tickled at his accent and three and a half hours later realized that I had been talking to him for THREE AND A HALF HOURS!

When is the last time you saw me do anything without touching my phone for three and a half minutes?!

The conversation with this man was like old friends catching up though we were meeting as strangers. Having sat near us you would have been confused as to why we did not embrace upon greeting and departing. Two days later we met again to do something I love to do, DANCE! He stated that he had always wanted to learn to Swing and instead of just agreeing that he’d like to like most men do he put action behind it and left the class with a few moves!

And I absolutely loved every one. 


Until next episode, 

Starring Courtny



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